Patient Zero
by EclecticTrekker
Summary: Missing scenes of “Conversion”. After Dr. Beckett realizes that the retrovirus is taking hold, Sheppard is worried that his uninhibited moment with Teyla may have unexpectedly dangerous consequences.
1. Chapter 1

"**Patient Zero"**

**Show: **Stargate Atlantis

**Genre:** General/Angst/Missing Scene

**Pairing: **A little bit of Sheppard/Teyla

**Summary: **Missing scenes of "Conversion". After Dr. Beckett realizes that the retrovirus is taking hold, Sheppard is worried that his uninhibited moment with Teyla may have unexpected consequences.

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, none of the characters belong to me. What I wouldn't give for a little John Sheppard of my very own!

**Author's Note: **This does contain SPOILERS for "Conversion." I know that this episode hasn't aired in places and that some are a bit behind their Atlantis watching, so you have been properly warned that plot points are evident in this story. Anyway, to a lighter note – double Atlantis on Friday, always a good thing. Hope you like this idea– it's been rattling around my head for days now so I'm finally letting it out into the fresh air for you all to peruse. Have fun and drop me a line when you're done! And I don't write dialect very well, so you'll all have to imagine Beckett's lovely accent yourself when you read his lines.

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Colonel Sheppard rolled down his sleeve and rubbed distractedly at the needle mark that Dr. Beckett had left on his forearm. He had extracted yet another sample of blood – can never be too sure, he had said with mock cheerfulness. John lay back on the hospital bed with a groan. Dr. Beckett was an excellent, careful doctor, but he was also a horrible liar. It didn't take an expert to pick up the way in which he looked at Sheppard with worried eyes, how his gaze didn't quite meet the colonel's as he offered him hollow reassurances. As much as he would like to convince himself of the contrary, Sheppard knew that the retrovirus was taking over much too quickly and that Beckett was scrambling for ideas…and probably coming up horribly short.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Carson handed off the blood sample to Dr. Gerlach. There was a brief whispered conversation between the two of them, and she cast Sheppard a nervous glance that he pretended he didn't see. As Beckett began to make his way back over to the bed, John closed his eyes in mild frustration. The fact that he was very likely going to get a lot worse before he got better (_'if he got better'_ he thought blackly) was bad enough, and having the good doctor fuss over him was enough to make the situation almost intolerable.

"Can I get you anything, lad?" he heard Beckett ask kindly.

Still keeping his eyes closed he replied very slowly and firmly, "Doc, I'm just as old as you are. It's bad enough that I'm going to be way below you on the evolutionary ladder pretty soon, but you don't have to treat me like I'm getting younger too."

"Well, actually the Iratus bug is quite advanced. We've already seen that you have increased stamina and –" Beckett quickly snapped off the end of his sentence when Sheppard shot him a nasty glare. "But you're right. I don't mean to talk down to you, and I'm sorry."

"That's okay. But since we're on the topic, what are we talking about here? Do I have weeks, months? A couple of hours?"

"I'm thinking more like days. We've got that long to figure something out for you," he replied with a sigh.

"Until I turn into one of those Wraith bugs," he finished with disgust.

At Beckett's grim nod, Sheppard bit off another groan. "I _really_ hate those bugs." There was an uncomfortable moment of silence between them until John spoke up again. "So what do you have planned, Doc? Any ideas yet about how to stop this thing?"

"I don't want to lie to you. I'm not sure exactly what we're dealing with – the effect the retrovirus had on Elia was so extreme and her DNA is so different from yours, that I'm not sure how this is going to assert itself in you." He turned to the counter to start fumbling together some of his current lab work. "We have a good idea of the symptoms that might occur –"

"Like I might start sucking out people's guts through their necks?"

The doctor sighed. "Unfortunately, that may not be that far off. But besides that, we don't know much else. We don't know how quickly it will take hold, if it will fully transform your DNA, even how it can be transmitted."

Beckett shuffled together a few more files and glanced up at Sheppard. The colonel was looking deathly pale, and his working eyes showed that he was clearly deep in thought. The doctor immediately thought that he had slammed him with too much information too quickly and was about to apologize when Sheppard flicked his eyes to Carson's and asked with a quiet urgency, "You don't know about its transmission yet?"

"Not entirely. We obviously know it can travel through blood, but besides that, we don't have any other evidence. Colonel, are you –"

Sheppard's eyes suddenly took on a panicked, unnatural light, and he sat up a little bit straighter on the bed. "Do you think it'd be possible to infect other people through other body fluids? Like saliva?"

He considered this. "There's a good chance that the DNA in saliva or semen could carry the retrovirus, but I'd have to run more tests to find out. Why'd you ask?"

If anything, the colonel seemed to get even more edgy after that, and he gripped the edge of the examining table with white-knuckled intensity. "Doc, I need you to do something that's going to seem a little strange, but you need to trust me on this one. I need you to find Teyla and bring her down here right now."

Beckett was beginning to grow increasingly alarmed at Sheppard's erratic behavior. "Colonel, maybe you should just –"

Sheppard shot out a hand and grabbed the doctor's forearm, not in a grip of anger but one that Beckett sensed was of desperation and fear. "Doctor, please listen. You need to go find Teyla and get her in here. You need to get a blood sample from her and test her for that damn retrovirus. You've got to make sure she's okay – start putting her on antibiotics or anti-Wraith meds or something, and you've got to do it right now."

Putting his own hand on Sheppard's and pushing it carefully but firmly away, Beckett slowly answered, "Colonel, I can't force anyone to undergo involuntary medical procedures without a justified reason. I know you're worried about your friends, but I can't order her to sickbay without cause."

Sheppard held his intense, wild-eyed stare with Beckett for a few more seconds before letting out a shaky sigh. "You practice that whole doctor-patient confidentiality where you come from, right?"

"Aye."

"So you won't tell anyone else what I'm going to tell you?" Beckett shook his head, mystified by the colonel's behavior. "I don't know what made me do it…it just happened."

"Colonel, if this is important…" Beckett gently urged.

John nodded. "Okay, I, um…I kissed Teyla, a couple of hours ago while we were sparring. I didn't think much about it then – it just took me by surprise more than anything."

In spite of himself, Beckett found himself suppressing a small smile. "What makes you think that that was due to the retrovirus?"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Sheppard asked. At the doctor's innocent shrug, he rubbed his forehead. "I guess the way it happened, it…well, let's just say that it wasn't the best way it could have gone. I've never roughed a woman up before, and I don't know what made me do it then. She was surprised by it."

"So you want me to make sure that Teyla didn't catch the retrovirus from you?"

"Yeah," Sheppard said wearily. He seemed to struggle with his next words before blurting out, "I think she was scared of me. _I _was scared of me – when I pulled back all I could think of was what would have happened if I couldn't stop. I was afraid I almost hurt her...and now if I gave her this thing…" He motioned futilely at the stacks of notes behind Beckett containing the retrovirus research. "Will you make sure she's taken care of, Doc?"

Carson had never seen Sheppard look so frightened and desperate before, and it both touched and shocked him. "Aye. I'll go find her."

John nodded in a hollow fashion as Beckett squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. The colonel's eyes never left the doctor's back as he headed out the door.

TBC very soon!

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I'll post the next chapter as soon as I write it. No promises as to the exact day, but hopefully it will be soon. Please drop me a review – I love to hear from you guys!


	2. Chapter 2

"**Patient Zero"**

**Show: **Stargate Atlantis

**Genre:** General/Angst/Missing Scene

**Pairing: **A little bit of Sheppard/Teyla

**Summary: **Missing scenes of "Conversion". After Dr. Beckett realizes that the retrovirus is taking hold, Sheppard is worried that his uninhibited moment with Teyla may have unexpected consequences.

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, none of the characters belong to me. What I wouldn't give for a little John Sheppard of my very own!

**Author's Note: **This does contain SPOILERS for "Conversion." I know that this episode hasn't aired in places and that some are a bit behind their Atlantis watching, so you have been properly warned that plot points are evident in this story. Thanks for all of your feedback from the last chapter – it really motivates you to keep writing!

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**Chapter Two:**

Carson stopped only briefly to check the Atlantis sensors. He was pretty sure that he knew where Teyla was going to be considering it was around lunch-time. When he first entered the dining commons, he couldn't see her anywhere – maybe he had just missed her. He was about to leave and try her quarters next when he suddenly spotted her in the far corner of the room. She was sitting alone at a tiny table next to the balcony, head bowed in a manner that even from his vantage point he could see was an immediate turn-off for approachability.

As he approached her table, Beckett could almost sense the tension and deep thought that she was clearly feeling. There was a ring of empty tables around her own – it was as if she were projecting her brooding emotions like some sort of beacon that silently and firmly told everyone around her in no uncertain terms that she wasn't in the mood to socialize. Beckett stopped a few feet from the edge of the table and waited for her to notice him. As he watched, she picked apathetically at the greens on her plate, clearly having no appetite, and mutilating a particularly bruised tomato-like vegetable with the edge of her fork. Her chin was resting in her palm, and her downcast eyes were dull and glazed with her silent musings. He was almost hesitant to disturb her pensive mood, but he knew that he had come with a critical job to do.

"Teyla?" he said softly, not wanting to startle her.

She flicked her eyes up to him and gave him a weak, apprehensive smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. "Carson. I was just finishing here."

"Well, do you mind if I join you for a few minutes? I'd like to talk to you about something." He waited anxiously as she seemed to teeter on denying him the request until she finally gave a reluctant nod.

Beckett slid into the chair opposite her. "I thought you might like to know that we've finished the preliminary blood work on Colonel Sheppard."

"And?" She almost looked fearful of what he was about to say.

"It doesn't look good. The retrovirus is now actively altering his DNA. I don't know how much time we have until the damage is too advanced to repair, but we've got to find a way to stop it soon," he said wearily.

"What will happen to the Colonel if you cannot find a way?"

"I'm only going on what we observed in Elia, but my guess is he'll change into a creature similar to an Iratus bug, but eventually…I think he'll die."

Beckett was heartbroken as he watched Teyla's reaction to the news. He felt a certain degree of guilt over Sheppard's situation, but he had yet to break the news to the colonel's closest friend – and at that moment he realized that informing family must be the most gut-wrenching duty a doctor could be faced with. He saw her visibly pale, two flushed spots of color suddenly appearing high on her cheekbones as her eyes widened in speechless anguish. She bent her head again, obviously straining to keep her emotions in check. He was about to reach out and take one of her clenched hands when she looked back up at him, her eyes shining brightly with unshed tears.

"I am sorry," she apologized. "It is difficult to accept this news."

"Teyla, you don't have to apologize. Everyone's going to take this hard, and I know that you and Colonel Sheppard are very close. Look, I know that I'm no Dr. Heightmeyer, but if you ever needed anyone to talk to, you can always come to me," he said gently.

"Thank you, Carson. You are a good friend," she whispered, lowering her eyes to her plate where she continued to half-heartedly play with her uneaten food.

He hated having to push her when she was so upset, but he knew that if Sheppard had infected her, she had little time before she also began displaying symptoms. "Teyla, I was talking to Colonel Sheppard a little while ago. He, um…he told me about what happened today while you were sparring."

Her head snapped up, and she stared at him with a paralyzed, frozen look. "I do not know what you mean," she said guardedly.

"He told me about the kiss. He was worried that he may have been a little rough with you and wanted me to make sure you were okay. He didn't hurt you?"

"No, of course not. It only…surprised me. I knew something was wrong, but neither of us understood what was happening until afterward. Is he upset about it? He did not send you here to apologize?" she asked with concern.

"It's actually a bit more complicated than that. Teyla, I don't want to worry you, but I'm not entirely sure how the retrovirus can be contracted. Colonel Sheppard is afraid that he may have infected you when he kissed you."

Teyla's reaction was far less terrified and upset than when he had informed her of Sheppard's prognosis – perhaps she had been dealt so many swift emotional blows during the day that she was becoming gradually numbed. She swallowed and nodded resignedly. "You would like to test me for the retrovirus?"

He nodded. "We need to be sure. I don't know if his mutation was far enough along at the time to pose a threat, but even if the chance of infection was zero, I'd still be tempted to conduct the test. If Colonel Sheppard knows that you're okay, it might help ease his mind a wee bit. He already has to deal with having the retrovirus, and if he knew that he had passed it along to you…I don't think he could ever forgive himself for that."

Teyla looked politely confused. "It would not have been intentional. He would have no reason to blame himself for something out of his control."

"I think you know the colonel better than that. It wouldn't matter whether it happened because of the kiss or whether he injected you on purpose – he'd never recover from that knowledge."

Pushing away the lunch tray, Teyla rose with a determined tilt of her head. "How long will the test take?"

"It shouldn't be more than a few minutes," he said gently. "Teyla…I don't want to scare you, but if it's positive…"

She shook her head and touched his arm (whether to reassure him or herself he wasn't sure). "We shall decide what to do when that happens."

He patted her hand, and she managed to give him a slight smile. Beckett led the way out the doors of the mess hall toward the medical bay where he knew there was a very anxious man impatiently waiting for news.

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Probably one more chapter after this, but I'm not completely sure. Again, don't know when that'll be posted, but hang in there – I'll get around to it if it kills me! That review button is looking mighty tempting, isn't it?


	3. Chapter 3

"**Patient Zero"**

**Show: **Stargate Atlantis

**Genre:** General/Angst/Missing Scene

**Pairing: **A little bit of Sheppard/Teyla

**Summary: **Missing scenes of "Conversion". After Dr. Beckett realizes that the retrovirus is taking hold, Sheppard is worried that his uninhibited moment with Teyla may have unexpected consequences.

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, none of the characters belong to me. What I wouldn't give for a little John Sheppard of my very own!

**Author's Note: **This does contain SPOILERS for "Conversion." Thanks for all of the lovely reviews – they really make my day! Hope you like this one, and I'm writing missing scenes for "Lost Boys" as well – Shep/Teyla of course – so stay tuned!

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**Chapter Three: **

Sheppard kept his eyes fixed on the medical bay doors, nervously jiggling his foot and trying to calm the horrible, black thoughts that were tumbling in his mind. It had been just one moment – one innocent, confusing, intense moment – and now he may have given her a death sentence. He still couldn't figure out exactly how it had happened. They had been sparring together, but they usually always did that every afternoon, just like they usually always got dinner afterward, just like they usually always watched a movie together on Saturday nights. Why was that afternoon any different from all those other times they had been together?

He couldn't really remember feeling any differently. He supposed he felt…better, more confident and more alert than usual. He remembered that all of his senses had seemed heightened, like he could pick out subtleties that he had never noticed before – the furrowed ridge that formed in her brow as she worked out an attack; the hollow, reverberating clacking of the sticks and the soft patter of her bare feet on the mats; the way she bit her lip in concentration before making the first parry; the soft quality of the light filtering in from outside.

And then he had pushed her, shoved her against the wall with an unexpected force that made him wince in shame from the memory. He couldn't remember much – just staring at her as though he had never seen her before. Well, not exactly, more like as though he had never seen her in _that way_ before. He could hear her rapid breathing from the sparring match, feel her light, quick pulse where his hand rested on the side of her neck, see the soft strands of hair that had come loose from her ponytail and her wide eyes bright from exertion.

And then it had happened. Even now he didn't try to fool himself into thinking that he'd never wanted to do it – hell, he still wouldn't mind kissing her – but the force and unpredictability of it all made him ashamed. When he first made contact, he felt her body tense and then suddenly relax, almost as if she wasn't quite sure where to put herself. Suddenly, that undeniable urge died away, and a new voice came into his head, one that told him in no uncertain terms to stop what he was doing. And he had pulled back. As the feeling of lust fell away, he had looked back at Teyla and was horrified at the mixture of confusion, concern, uncertainty…and fear that he saw in her face. He had no idea what had just happened, and even more terrifying, neither did she.

He wasn't always sure what he felt for Teyla. She was the closest friend he had ever had – they seemed to understand each other on a level that didn't seem possible, and when he was around her he felt as though he could really be himself. She was loyal to him to the point where it astounded him, and he was protective of her to the point of beyond just friendly concern. What frightened him most was how much he trusted her. He didn't consider himself to be a person that was easily won over, but he remembered just _knowing_ when they met that she was someone he could hand his life to and expect to be okay. That trust had kept him alive and sane more times than he could count, and he had no idea what he would do without it. And now, because of one horribly timed moment, he was afraid that that bond had been broken forever…if either of them lived long enough to care that is.

The doors suddenly hissed open, and Sheppard snapped his head up. Carson entered the medical bay, Teyla only a few steps behind. He noticed that she was pale and flushed, and he immediately felt that sinking feeling of guilt and desperation return. When he tried to make eye contact, she quickly looked away and followed Beckett to an examination table on the other side of the room. He silently watched as Carson carefully cinched off her right arm and extracted a vial of blood, giving her a calming smile as he went to check it in the lab.

Teyla rubbed anxiously at her arm, and Sheppard saw her shoulders slump with a quiet sigh that echoed throughout the silent infirmary. More than anything he wanted to go to her, hug her, and tell her that everything was going to work out somehow. Of course, he may have been able to do that at one point, that very morning in fact, but what had happened between them wasn't going to go away any time soon – he wasn't sure if he could let it. The irrational, overpowering protectiveness that he felt for her came rushing back, and all he wanted was for her to be able to walk out of the infirmary with a clean bill of health.

Sheppard slid off of his own bed and quietly walked to the foot of hers. He watched her eyes flick up to his and was thankful that he couldn't find any more traces of fear hidden there, only a tired, weary concern. "Colonel Sheppard. How are you feeling?"

"I should be asking you that question," he said softly. "How much did Dr. Beckett tell you?"

"Enough. He told me that…that you might not live for very much longer. It is…difficult for me to accept that." She was clearly having trouble, and his heart ached at the forlorn sound in her voice.

"Listen, Teyla, about what happened earlier –" her head lifted quickly. "No, we don't have to talk about it yet. It's just…Dr. Beckett isn't sure what's going to happen, and if anything happened to you because of what I did...you know I'd never want to hurt you, right?"

She nodded, and her eyes were filled with a hurt and agony that he had never seen before. "I know. And whatever happens, I need you to know that it is not your fault." She carefully put out her shaking hands and rested them on his shoulders, bowing her head to him in the traditional Athosian manner. He gently touched his forehead to hers and stayed there for a moment breathing in her scent and feeling her hands squeeze his shoulders before pulling back.

"I'm going to go talk to Carson. You going to be okay here by yourself?" he asked. Her silent nod was far from convincing, but he understood that she probably wanted nothing more than to be alone.

The lab where Beckett had taken the blood sample was located just off the main infirmary bay, and Sheppard walked in without so much as a knock. Beckett was cleaning several pipets and looking nervously toward the machine performing the analysis. He glanced up when Sheppard entered. "How much longer until that thing is done?" he asked.

"Just a few more minutes. Did you talk to Teyla?"

"Yeah, a little bit. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say is all."

"I'm sure that she understands what you did was a result of the retrovirus," Beckett said sympathetically.

John sighed. "You weren't there, Doc. If it was me, I wouldn't be able to forgive and forget, and I don't expect her to either – it wouldn't be fair. She deserves to get some time to figure this out for herself, and if she doesn't want to talk about it, I can't ask her to."

Beckett started the second filtration cycle on the machine and glanced up at Sheppard innocently. "Are you sure that's the reason?"

"What?" Sheppard was sure he had a goofy, bewildered expression on his face at that point.

"Well, I only meant that maybe _you_ don't want to talk about it – you don't want to say it was a mistake…am I making any sense, Colonel?"

"None at all. Must be the Scottish in you," Sheppard said, neatly evading what Beckett had said. Of course, he knew exactly what he had meant, and it bothered him how close to the truth he may have actually come. He decided it was time to actually get to what he had been meaning to ask. "Doc, what happens if Teyla's infected too? Is there anything that you'll be able to do for her?"

Beckett sighed wearily. "To be honest, she'll be in the same boat you are. We're trying to work on a way to help you, but if she's got it too, she'll only be a couple of hours behind your progression. And since we're working blind…I can't say it looks good for either of you."

Sheppard nodded slowly. He understood the implications and he understood what he had to do. "Doctor…if Teyla does show up positive for the retrovirus, I want you to use me to figure out a way to help her."

"I can't use you as a test subject, Colonel. That'd hardly be ethical –"

"Yeah, and it wasn't ethical for me to do what I did either. Look, I'm serious about this. If she's got it too, I want you to do anything you need to in order to make sure she's going to pull through – and if that means testing out one of your retro-retroviruses on me, I want you to do that."

Carson's face set determinedly. "I know what you're trying to do, Colonel, and it's very noble of you to want to help Teyla. But as a doctor, I can't do what you're asking me to do."

"I'm not asking you to do this as a doctor. I'm asking you as a friend to make sure she's okay!" Sheppard said desperately. "It's bad enough having to deal with this myself, but if I have to watch Teyla go through the same thing, when I was the one who gave it to her in the first place—"

"I understand what you're going through," Beckett interjected. "I know you feel guilty about the whole thing, but what makes you think that I'm going to be able to convince Dr. Weir? And Teyla – do you think she'll even accept whatever treatment I come up with if she knows it came from experimenting on you?"

"She doesn't have to know. Carson, I'm begging you as my friend to consider this. As a doctor aren't you obligated to help a patient no matter what? Isn't it worse to have two people die instead of just one?" Sheppard asked with quiet intensity.

The small alarm from the filtration machine saved him from answering the colonel's question. Both men glanced over at it with wide, understanding eyes. Sheppard found that he couldn't sit still as Beckett carefully removed the printout and went over the results, double and triple checking his progress as he did so. Finally, after what seemed like ages, he looked up at John and gave a little smile of relief.

She was clean.

Sheppard suddenly felt all of the muscles go out of his legs, and he abruptly sat down in the other office chair. He buried his head in his hands, forcing himself to take slow deep breaths in order to hold back the stinging tears of thankfulness that were pricking his eyes. It was the first piece of truly good news he had had all day.

"Are you going to be okay?" Beckett asked softly, fixing Sheppard with a knowing smile.

"Yeah…just give me a minute." He breathed a heavy sigh of relief and met the doctor's gaze, returning his smile with one of his own.

Carson made his way back out to the infirmary with Sheppard a step behind. Teyla looked up at them as they approached her bed, eyes flicking between the two men, hoping to pick up on their moods.

Beckett gave her a sweet smile and a little hug. "You're going to be fine, love. You're tests came out negative."

She nodded, expelling a shaky sigh as she did so. "Thank you, doctor. Do I need to stay here any longer?"

"No, you're free to go. Do you want someone to walk you home?" She smiled and shook her head at his kind offer. He gave her an affectionate caress on the cheek and went back to finish up in the lab, casting a subtle prodding expression at Sheppard as he left them alone.

"Do you have to remain in the infirmary, Colonel Sheppard?" she asked.

"No. Doc says that I can stay at home until things…well, until they get worse." He saw her face fall again in sadness and tried again in a lighter tone. "Actually, do you think you'd mind walking me home? It's getting close to sunset, and I think I'd like to take the long way back so I can see it from the balcony. Are you up for it?"

Teyla gave him a smile, though he noticed that her eyes remained as dark and troubled as before. "I believe I would enjoy that." She slid off the bed and walked beside him out the door of the infirmary.

They walked in silence along the edge of the city until reaching his favorite spot on the balcony, where it was quiet except for the low rolling noises of the waves. They stood looking out at the horizon, which was a brilliant, rapidly changing spectacle of yellows, oranges, pinks, and purples. As they watched the sky change to dusk, there didn't have to be any words. Sheppard glanced over at Teyla and saw a single tear streak down her cheek. He didn't say anything – he knew her well enough to understand that she wouldn't want it mentioned. It was enough for him to be able to share this moment with her – _'it could be the last,'_ he thought – and he didn't want to mess it up. As the stars came out, they stood in silence, neither of them alone and neither of them wanting to speak for fear of losing the time they had together.

THE END!

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Hope that you liked it. I told you I'd get around to finishing this eventually! Please leave me a review – because it's the best part of sharing these stories with you of course!


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